It's Not Because They Think They're Better Than You...

or smarter than you, or because they're trying to take something away from you... They say what they say about you, or to you, because the evidence is clear, and it clearly suggests one simple, undeniable thing about you:

you're doing it wrong!

Don't take my word for it though... thanks to the efforts of others who seem to love asking thousands of people questions and then making nifty visuals to show how everyone answered, no more words are needed! Here... just have a look at these:

Yep, that's a bunch of maps of the US - each one colored according to some study or survey, and based on the input not of one snarky know-it-all, but thousands of regular ole people! You can find one of these for just about any political topic you can think of, and while I was doing just that, I noticed something... something so obvious it coulda kissed me!

So, I cherry-picked a bunch of these colored-up data maps, took out all the information explaining what they mean, and stuck them next to eachother so I could show you what I noticed...

Do you see it? No?

Well maybe this will help: here's what each map is basically showing (minus all the numbers and specifics):

1. #1 Median Income – the darker shade of orange the better (the higher the median income)
2. #2 Infant Mortality – red bad, blue good… shades of red still pretty bad, shades of blue still pretty good
3. #3 Teen Pregnancies (ages 15-19) –  blue bad, green good… shades of blue still pretty bad, shades of green still pretty good
4. #4 Healthcare System Performance – The lighter the shade of blue the better
5. #5 Higher Education – Peach is the worst, then purple, then green, then blue (based on the number of adults over 25, per capita for each state, with at least an associates degree)
6. #6 Well-Being Index – the brown is bad, the blue-green is good, the darker the more extreme (measuring not just the health, but also the happiness, of the each state... I don't even care how they measured that)
7. #7 High School Graduates – light pink is below average, dark pink is above average, white is average (based on the average graduation rate per capita for each state compared to the national average)
8. #8 Obesity – Red is the worst, then orange, then beige, then blue
9. #9 Poverty Percentage – the lighter the better
10. #10 Income Inequality – the lighter the better

See the pattern? Fine I'll just show you:

Notice how each of those data-maps tends to show pretty much the same areas of the country to be the worst, no matter what's being measured!

Isn't that crazy?

Check this one out for comparison... (Warning: this is gonna blow your mind!):

If you don't recognize it, that's one of the ubiquitous Red-state, Blue-state maps you see all the time during an election year... I know, right? It matches up uncannily with just about every map in the first image! Seriously, could it even BE more clear? What could possibly cause all the Red-states to also show up as the Worst-states in all those political topic data-maps? Surely just 'tending to vote republican' couldn't cause all that Worst-state data on its own..? Could it?

I have a hunch there's more to it than that, and I think I've found another measurement that might just explain what's really going on... here... check this one out:

Yep... that's what I thought too... but apparently this data-map has merit! Apparently, the more important your beliefs are to you, the worse you measure up... kinda makes the beliefs themselves suspect, doesn't it? And yet, no matter which data-map we're talking about, it's your beliefs - you claim - that make you right, and them wrong... can you see, maybe, how that might not make a whole lotta sense?

Right... so... you see, that's why... you're doing it wrong. You've been doing it wrong for a while, actually... here's one more map for you:

I'll bet it actually goes back even further, but I just want to use maps of the US, so... yeah...

That's why...

You're doing it wrong!

What is a "Snark Observer"?

It occurs to me such an effort as this (a blog) should begin with a statment of intent, or an explanation of focus for what may follow. That sounds a lot like commitment though, to a cause or limited scope, and that's just not normally how I roll, see...
...but I'm not here to ramble on senselessly. There really is a purpose beyond figuratively offering up my well-intended flatulence for all to experience!

So... I should start with explaining the title.

For the sake of colloquial accuracy I will cite the wholly vetted and unquestionably authoritative Urban Dictionary's definition of the term Snark, or Snarky:

Snarky:
March 26, 2007 Urban Word of the Day
A witty mannerism, personality, or behavior that is a combination of sarcasm and cynicism. Usually accepted as a complimentary term. Snark is sometimes mistaken for a snotty or arrogant attitude.
(Her snarky remarks had half the room on the floor laughing and the other half ready to walk out.)
See the online Urban Dictionary listing here

and let's use Gurdjieff's Fourth Way Enneagram of Personality to define Observer as a personality type, even if only to justify naming myself Snarky for the purpose of this blog:

Enneagram Type 5:
Observer, Investigator, Thinker, Sage or Voyeur (in a nutshell):
You have an inquisitive and observant nature with an insatiable appetite for information. You think things through before offering your perceptive insights regarding systems, people or how the world works.
Find the complete description of Enneagram Type 5 here

So, title defined, I would say the purpose of the Snark Observer is to share sarcastic, cynical, yet perceptive insights regarding systems, people, and how the world works to satiate my own desires to understand more completely, research in depth, and make myself look smart while poking fun at others.

So, it's a spiritual thing, and it's wholly self-serving... I guess I can end where I've started then in terms of explaining!

The title says it all...